This is my second time coming out to Vegas for the series. Last year was a blast, so I made sure I would be there this year.
Last week of June I take Jetblue from NY. Good flight, on time and an aisle seat with the middle seat empty. I get picked up from the airport by an old friend of mine who lives in Henderson. The plan was to stay with him until Monday, then stay at TI for the rest of my trip. I planned on playing a lot of the Venetian tourneys, so this works well.
My friend Jeff has been living here for 4 years, and loves it. He is a chain smoking, alcoholic with a gambling problem,but has the disposition of a golden retriever. He won't go to AA because he says "it's for quitters".
Of course when I arrive he wants to go str8 to the strip, the flight however has drained me and I convince him to drop me off (I guess I should point out Im OLD...37). Jeff comes back at 5am. He goes to sleep as I am waking up (it's 8 am to me). Now you may understand why I felt I would be unable to stay with him for 10 days.
Friday evening we head to the Venetian. I told Jeff I want to take him dinner, and Im craving Delmonico since last year. We get there at 7. He heads str8 to the poker room looking for a 2-5 game which he bellieves he is over-rolled for with $600. I failed to mention that Jeff has been able to live out here, gamble and party every day of the week that ends in "y", without a job. His family is loaded, but only gives him enough each month to live like a dog. How he does it, I dont know.
Anyway I head down to the poker room after being told no reservations until 10:30. Jeff is already on his second, double Ggoose with a splash of OJ, and down to $200. I am able to pry him off the table with the threat of "food court" if he doesnt do one of the things he's good at...we're seated in Delmon at 8:15 (no money changed hands).
After dinner I head down to see if a PLO game is starting in which I put down an indication of interest. They are setting up a table as I am walking in. I told Jeff to just give me an hour ( I have never played PLO live) and then we will leave. He asks me to stake him in a 2-5, of which I have no prob saying "no". "Throwing money away I tell him" not to mention he owes me $2k for about a year. I sit, he leaves to play penny slots for the free Greygooses. He has probably downed 7 by now.
A half hour later I realize that 5-5 PLO is a little bigger than I expected, and call Jeff's cellphone to tell him Im good to go. He says to find him at the BJ tables. I think wtf, Venetian doesnt have anything lower than $25.
I hear him before I see him. The drunken laughter, similar to that of Dudley Moore's Arthur, is emanating from just over the slot machines. I turn the corner and there is Jeff with a stack of blacks and purples!!! In 30 mins he went on a sick heater and turned $150>>>$9k. I think, this is just what a person like him needs in a city like this. Then realizing the half-life of this windfall is probably less than an hour. I grab 4 purples and say "we're even",no objection on his end. Somehow I am able to convince him to cash out, and we leave the Venetian, him $6500 richer, me $2000 found money.
Now for the reason I am posting. We leave under the guise that we're heading to the B. As I get onto I15, he says "where are you going". I tell him he will thank me in the morning that he still has money left. He commands me to turn around, lol.
In his apartment he says there is no way his Friday is over before midnight. I try to explain that $6500 and a fabulous steak is not necessarily a bad night; maybe I just dont get vegas.
I go upstairs preparing for bed, yes I know its only 12am and Im in vegas, but like I said Im old. I hear the car starting, great, I couldnt keep another drunk off the road.
Jeff returns a half hour later. He said he went to Green Valley, but they were only spreading 1-2. Good now we sleep.
However, he's sitting at the desk and takes something out of his pocket. It's a little bag that he opens and dumps the contents on the imitation wood desk,,,
Now when Jeff tells me that he rarely does blow, I sincerely believe him. He says that one of the his local buddies gave it to him at GV. Hey, if he wants to get zooted and be up until next week, thats on him.
Now I have done coke a handful of times and not since college. The idea of getting out of bed to do a few lines makes absolutly no sense. So of course when he says, "come on, I dont want to do this myself Ill feel like a degenerate", I say no and continue to say no even when the powder is shooting up my nose making a b-line to my brain.
WOW! The stuff I did in college must have been cut 20x, because the feeling I got could only be explained to someone has done some really good blow. Now what do we do?
After a 1/2 hour of mindless babble we both realize that we have to get out of his apartment. But what to do?
I tell him that the kids these days talk about "hookers and blow" quote often, and they make it sound that it might be fun. In this condition sorting silverware would be fun.So the plan is to score more of this magic elixir, I tell him get a lot (wow was I fiending), get some escorts, and rent 2 hotel rooms.
We go online (such amateurs) and google escorts. We goto a site with pictures, and wow were these girls hot! I have just separated, so Im prety excited and Jeff hasnt been laid in over a year.
I get 2 rooms at a well known motel.Jeff calls Paris, not the city, but the hot blonde depicted on the site. "Is this Paris?" he asks. After confirming it was her, he gives the address and tells her to come meet him and I and bring a friend.
T-50mins and counting until go time.
I am able to convince him that a cab would be a better idea for the 10 min drive. We stop on the way and pick up A LOT of the stuff(about an 1/8), and are booked into the hotel a 1/2 hour after our call to Paris.
Since Jeff doesnt have a cc the rooms is under my real name, WTF!? Upstairs in the room I start getting nervous and tell him I dont want to do this (my first hooker). All coked up it probably sounded like; "ohnoIcantdothis callherbackcallherbackcancelitjustcallher." He says it will be "awesome", okay then thats what I needed to hear. I did manage in my tirade to convince him to let me have Paris, did I say how hot she was?
I go into the other room to setup shop. I dump my half into the soap dish and snort away. 5 min later I am boucing back in Jeffs room when there is a call from the desk. Paris is here they say. A knock at the door, I open it.
I guess she photographs really well, because this woman was 15 lbs. overweight, dark hair, dark eyes and I wouldnt do her if she paid me. The first thing I say is "where is your friend?". She says that she can handle both of us. Not a chance hun, get on the phone and make a call. Say she must be hot. After trying to explain how talented she is, she got the point and made tha call. "Paris" said the girl will be here in 25 mins. Sounds great, "cya jeff" I say as I exit the room. "wait, wait' is all I hear as the door closes.
Back to my room for some more of my powdered fun. I must admit at the time I dont think I have ever felt better. Just snorting line after line I felt the city was mine.
After 10 mins I couldnt stay in the room any longer, so I go down to the lobby to wait for "skyler". I guess if you have a name like Paris or Skyler your career is pretty much laid out for you.
In the lobby it's just me and the night manager, Brian. Brian is a 19 yr old kid, grinding away for a few extra bucks a week. I initiate conversation that I thought was friendly, but Im sure from his POV it must have been "why the [censored] is this guy with glazed eyes and constantly biting his lip interupting my solitaire game to tell me the befits of eating fruit in season". Sensing this, I thank him for setting up the rooms on short notice, tip him 20 bucks and head outside for a smoke (BTW I am not a smoker).
Going back into the lobby I see somebody that could only be "Skyler" coming out of the elevator. She's genuinely cute. Hot body and a cute face. No corkscrew hair, bad skin/teeth or big nose, I am in love. We head upstairs and Im psyched.
In the room, the negotiations begin. Skyler says," So what do you want?". My reply, "I'll go for the full works, the whole $300 treatment". She smiles and tells me that is just for her to show up. Somehow she gets me to give her $800 for her to stay an hour and half. I am thankful that is all I brought with me, because the condition Im in she couldve walked out with the title to my condo. Still Im totally psyched.
I tell her I want her to shower first, she says if I do as well, mmmm ok. So I undress her and we hop into the shower. If she didnt know how totally coked out I was before, all she had to do was look down and find out. At this point my Adam's apple is the only way to distinguish that I am a man. Hookers and blow I now realize is supposed to be done in that order, uhoh.
She laughs and says that may be a problem, ya think? After scrubbing every inch of her body down 3x I reach for a towel. I should mention that she has gotten 3 call so far from her service. 1st to say shes hear,2nd that she has negotiated a price(she told them 600) and the 3rd just to say "mmhmm, yeah, okay".
We get on the bed, and my cell phone rings 4x. It's Jeff and I dont pick up. Then the room rings after the 3rd time I pickup, he saya he wants to see her and I hang up.
After 10 mins she and I both know that nothing is going to happen for me. I tell her not to worry, and I will be ready to go soon enough. She looked pleased. She asked for water, and starts getting her clothes on,,,wtf? She says she'll be rright back. Even in my condition I know she wouldnt be returning.
I tell her I gave her 800 bucks for 90 mins not 20. She's packing up when her phone rings, she starts saying "he wont let me leave" visions of Adabiese from OZ pops in my head, and I say "nice to have met you".
As she open my door Jeff is there. He looks at her, says something and she disappears into his room, Damn!!!
So alone in my room I figure okay might as well finish it. I dump whateva'a left, about a gram, onto the table and just start blowing away. After 4 monster lines, I realize I cant sit there. Its 4am, and I think it's best to call another girl.
I have no money so I call Jeff 5x,but he doesnt pick up. Igo to his room an knock, doesnt answer. I continue to knock, after what seemed 5 mins, he answers in just a shirt grosss. I tell him I need money and the phone number and I will leave him alone. He throws me his cell phone and a wad of 100's.
I go back to my room and call the number. A woman picks up, I say "Hi is this Martha?", she hesitates, then confirms she is actually Martha. Blah,blah,blah next girl is there a half hour later.
Her name is Brandi and looks likes somebody put her head in a vice, and stuck her on a 150 lb Mr Potato Head, but wtf she has nice eyes.
Now its like 5am and in the elevator I ask if Im the first or the last of the day, she say"last",,,god answer.
So back in my room, the phone calls start and the negotiating. She says she gets up to $2000. Im in no mood and say to her "Ill give you $400 for the hour". She trys to say something but I tell her its nonnegotiable. I give her $300 and rip the other bill in half telling her sh'ell receive the other half and maybe more at the end. She seemed happy.
So the same routine; into the shower, I look like I have a vag, onto the bed of 10 mins of nothing happening. I did get from her that her real name is Kelly and Im the first of the night b/c the ahole at the sierra turned her away. I ended up getting a 30 min massage, and Kelly was on her way with the complet $400.
Now at 6am I go into Jeffs room.It turns out he gave Paris $500 and Skyler $500 and they stayed a total of 45 mins. In total we $2200 to 2 ugly and one decent girl to looka t our shriveld up dicks for an hour.
