Useless Air? Watch for the guitar on craigslist.

What's a wike? If you meant wife, Phil doesn't have one. He has a Jennifer Tilly, though. Don't worry about driving stick in a Lambo, just get a Gallardo. Hardly any of them are stick.

Day 1

O’Hare is surprisingly empty when I arrive at 1. Even a greater surprise is when my plane actually takes off on time, amidst all of the delays and cancellations. Somehow in a fairly crowded plane I was able to land a row with only me and one other guy. I had the window, he had the middle seat. Naturally, I expected him to move over once he realized no one was sitting in the aisle. I’m actually pretty sure it’s a man law. But 20 minutes into the flight he was still snuggled up on my right shoulder. So I tapped him on the arm and politely said, hey dude I don’t think anyone’s coming for that aisle seat if you wanna move over and stretch out a bit. “Nah I’m good man, I actually like the middle seat”. Who the **** likes the middle seat. The middle seat is the middle child, the ugly sister, Khloe Kardashian. No one is ever supposed to like the damn middle seat. Whatever.

4 hours later we touch down in Vegas and I’m off to NOT find my bags. As predicted they are nowhere to be found. What I didn’t expect is that the airline has no idea where they are. Last time they were scanned was Cincinnati. Great. To make matters worse the only outfit I have is the one I’m wearing, sweatpants and my blue Obama T. If you ever want to feel like a complete slob I highly recommend walking through the Bellagio on a Saturday night in sweatpants. I can only imagine what Maurice at the cage thought when a kid in pajamas who doesn’t even know his social security number tried to withdraw thirty thousand dollars.

Eventually I get my money and head over to the poker room. Four games of 5/10 are running and within 20 minutes I’m sitting down. Initially, it was a little intimidating. Most people were sitting with over 3,000 and everyone knew each other’s name. It felt like ****ing Cheers. About an hour later, a few regulars were replaced with tourists, significantly helping my comfort level. For two hours I played basically zero interesting hands and was up about $200 from C-Betting, when I encountered my first interesting spot.
New (definitely recreational) player limps UTG+1. BTN and SB follow. I make it 60 with red Aces in BB. UTG and BB call. Flop JdTd4x. I bet 120, UTG calls with about 500 back. Turn Jx. I check, he bets 150. Too many combinations of draws he could have, as opposed to combinations of J’s. I shove, he thinks, folds. Up about 600 now.

New internet kid sits down to my right and recognizes the guy to my left. Apparently he’s part of Poker Road and signed to Ultimate Bet (blanking on his name though). Internet kid spends the next hour or so trying to impress him with his knowledge of the online poker world. Very uncomfortable. Like Michael Scott photo-shopping himself into a picture of his girlfriend and her kids uncomfortable.

Anyways a bit later I pick up KK and raise in MP to 30. Euro on the BTN calls and so does BB. Flop QsTsTx. I bet 60, BB makes it 200, I call. Turn is the Awful 9s, I don’t have the Ks. Check, Check. River is the equally awful 7s. I check, he bets 250 and I fold. Normally, I would spend the next ten minutes replaying the hand in my mind, thinking of better lines I could’ve taken. But I couldn’t concentrate because, I kid you not, the Ghost of Billy Mayes sat down in the 10 seat. Exact replica of the fallen legend.

Billy turned out to be a pretty big spot at the table, doing a lot of limping and calling out of position. A couple orbits into his stay he raised to 20 (lol) in MP. 3 people call as do I in BB with AdTs. Flop Qx9d3d. Checked around. Turn Qd I lead for 80, Billy calls. River 5d and Billy issues all of the live tells for liking the card (looking at his chips, shaking), so I check it to him. He bets 120 and I make it 260 more, knowing he won’t fold a big flush. He calls with the Kd and I ship a pretty decent pot.

Up about 800 at this point I’m feeling pretty good when I get KK in the SB. Internet player opens to 50 and I make it 150. We see a flop of 6x8c9c. I bet 200. He calls. Turn is the Qx and I make a mistake and check. He checks back and the river is the 5s. After another check he bets 330. I don’t really see a hand I’m beating and lay it down. He later tells me he had 67 suited.

I double up Billy’s short stack later when my AJ can’t hold against his flush draw on a J high board and realize I’m pretty exhausted. I pick up my chips and head back to my room at the Signature, up a measly $200, before I turn this into a losing session.

Right now I think my main problem is assessing 3-betting and 3-betting calling ranges. In my normal game a 3-bet is almost always 1 of 3 hands and that’s clearly not the case in this game. Hopefully today goes a bit better…

Well reported. Please keep frequent updates coming.

Nice TR

Name that slipped your mind - Joe Sebok?

No just remembered it's Bryan Devonshire. Hadn't heard of him before, but he's a real nice guy and fun to be at the table with. Not to mention a strong player.

Yes, keep up the updates, threads like this are fun to read

Nice update and hope you keep 'em coming.

Day 2

On my way to the Bellagio I stopped by the Miracle Mile shops at Planet Hollywood. Very impressive. From what I saw they have just about every store one could need. My personal search was for a pair of non-prescription glasses. My eye sight is as 20/20 as Barbara Walters. But ever since November when the sexiest girl in my Stats class had me try on her glasses and told me I looked cute, I’ve made a note-to-self to get a pair ASAP. My roommates proceeded to question my sexuality. But as Anmier at Quality Eye Wear explained, the nerd look is in! Plus Lebron does the same thing. You hear that roommates? LeBron does it. Is he a ***. I didn’t ****ing think so.

After finding a perfect pair of half-framed Tag Heuer’s I was all set to check out, when I realized I hadn’t even looked at the price tag yet. Whatever, can’t be anymore then what $200 dollars? 475! I haven’t even won any money yet Anmeir, I’m gonna have to come back at a later date.

With an empty face I head over to the B. 3 5/10 games running, shouldn’t be any longer then 10 minutes, the floor manager Pete tells me. To pass the time I stroll over to the sportsbook to check out the football games. My Bears were about to start and the B had them as 11 point dogs. Its been snowing non-stop for 3 days in Baltimore. I don’t care whose playing, their might not even be 11 points scored the whole game. I don’t sports bet but I have plenty of friends who do. I text all of them “Bears getting 11 stone-cold lock.” As a couple text back confirming the pick my name is called in the poker room.

Only one familiar face at my table, the internet kid with the Bryan Devonshire fascination. First orbit I raise in LP with A9 to 40, he 3-bets me very quickly to 120 on the BTN. Like suspiciously quickly. Can’t be that strong, I pop it up to 320. He mumbles to himself for a few seconds and folds. I’m not going to be run over today.

A few hands later I pick up AQ on the BTN. After a few limpers I make it 60 and 3 people call, including the SB call. Flop J 7 4 rainbow. Sb leads 150, all folds back to me. Good spot to represent a big pair. I make it 400. He thinks, flashes me a J and says this is no good huh, thinks some more and shoves all-in. WTF. Who shows cards and THEN shoves. Not that it matters I only have A high. I Hollywood for my table image for a few seconds and then fold.

At this point it all went downhill. For like 3 hours I’m not sure I won any hands, and I was involved in quite a few. I wish I had hands to describe, but honestly the last thing I wanted to do after getting crushed hand after hand was jot down how badly I suck. Most, however went like this. 2 people limp, I raise marginal hand in later position to 60. I flop Mid-pair, checked to me, I bet, someone raises I fold.

At this point my confidence was pretty low. Not winning a hand for a few hours and watching everyone and their mom check raise you, can really make you question whether you belong in a certain game. Not to mention I glanced up at the T.V. to see the Ravens putting a whooping on the Bears. Sorry guys!

In for about 2300 and sitting on a 1200 dollar stack I finally hit a good flop. With K9 I opened to 40 in the CO. Only the table fish in the BB called. He’s been doing a lot of limping and a lot of calling. Your standard fish. Flop comes 987. ****ing finally. He check calls 60. Turn is the very pretty 10. Awesome, hopefully he caught some sort of straight. He checks and I fire out 110, he thinks, looks like he wants to fold, but puts in 110. River came the 4. After another check, I put out a bet of 220. He thinks and just puts the remained of his cash in the middle, 400 I believe. I call the raise and turn over my King high flush, only to be trumped by his A5. Great. Just what I needed.

I go for a walk. I’m not sure exactly where, but I do a lot of talking to myself and have to appear semi-crazy to onlookers. Down to about 600 dollars and stuck about 1700, I tell myself I’m going to play short stacked until broke and then call it a day. I see a cute masseuse and tell her I would like a rub down. Not the best decision financially, but damn it felt good. Mid massage, Sasauna (the masseuse) asks me if anyone has ever told me I look like Jude Law. Was she just trying to earn her tips, probably. Do I care, absolutely not. For the rest of the day I’m Jude ****ing Law.

With my confidence refurbished and my shoulders loose, I start playing care free. Just as I had earlier when I didn’t win a hand for 3 hours, but this time my C-Bets work. Chip after chip, pot after pot, I work my way back up to 1300 when I get a chance at revenge against the Fish. I raise to 30 UTG w/ QT and 6 people call. Flop comes KJ5. Jackpot. I lead for 120. Fish calls, so does the SB. Turn is the T. Checked to me I bet 250. Fish calls and the small blind folds. One time can I please get a god damn club. River is the Jack. Great, just ****ing great. I check, and fish bets out 300. Weird. He’s not smart enough to value bet a K. So I guess it’s either a J or clubs. Would he really call two bullets with just a Jack? I call. Fish quickly mucks. Phew.

2 hands later I pick up AA on the BTN. I make it 60 after a couple limps. The fish and one other come along for the ride. Flop Q 8 4. Fish leads 80, I make it 200. He calls quickly, with his final 350 behind. Turn is the 6 and I shove. He calls and shows QT. The river comes a Jack and I rake in another decent pot.

Jesus so this is what a rush feels like. While it goes fairly unnoticed to the others who are more accustomed to the swings of this game, I've just won 1500 dollars in five minutes, and 2200 in a little more than an hour. You don't see those kind of swings at 1/2.

After another hour or so of folding, I call it a day with a 600 dollar profit. Not quite the level I’m looking for yet, but damn does it feel good after being stuck most of the day.

this demands a custom undertitle imo...

You should find a good therapist and deal with your anger issues first. You will never succeed at poker with these kinds of thoughts going on.

Great stuff, keep it coming.

And let's just hope that she didn't mean the rat-faced Jude Law of Road to Perdition.

Great Read.

Just some advice, you want to show down a good hand before you start Bluffing big IMO because there are too many fish that will just call you down for the hell of it.

Also, if you are at a table and everyone starts check raising you and calling you down, for whatever reason your image has taken a hit and it is best to just change tables and start fresh (unless of course, you liked being checked raised by everyone and called down all the time.) or if you insist on staying at that table, you've got to nit up for a while.

Anyways, hope you keep kicking ass.

Nice read, thanks.

Not that I'm a great expert, but some of your pre-flop raises AFTER several limpers seemed a bit small FWIW.

Good sh*t. Sounds like you kind of got bailed out this session while you were tilting away the rest of your stack. You obviously have the skill set to beat the game, so the only thing that worried me is when you mentioned that you were willing to play shortstacked until you went broke. This is the wrong mindset to take!!! You need to always have a full (or at least close to full) stack at the table and never under any condition be satisfied with throwing away your last X amount of money because you took some sh*tty beats earlier. Glad to hear you made a comeback though and keep up the good work, +800 over 2 sessions is nothing to be ashamed of!

Nice thread, OP. Keep it up!